When you have a new baby, you're awake a lot more than you would normally prefer. While I don't wish this state of sleeplessness to continue forever, it does have a certain hallucinatory, creative effect upon the mind. I find myself going down strange paths of thought as I sit with Addie, trying to rock her to sleep while Anna is catching a nap. Coleridge claims that Kubla Kahn was the product of an opium-induced dream; similarly, this blog has thus far been a product of sleeplessness and Mountain Dew (probably illegal in Utah!). This (and my writing about jams and ALF yesterday) has led me to today's digressive topic: renewing the use of the word face as a potent insult/categorical conversation ender.
This renewal of face began a few months ago at work, when one of our many divergent discussions ended with the coup de grâce: "Face!" I hadn't heard face used as an insult since middle school--but let me tell you, it is uncomebackable. As a result of its one-time usage, face is now a regular part of our lexicon, and I would be remiss if I did not pass it on. If you are not using face in day-to-day conversations, start now! You will be the envy of your friends and co-workers, as you will always have the last word. Don't believe me? Need some examples? I've written a short playlet to demonstrate (feel free to perform it out loud for full face! effect):
Friend A - "I think that the movie we just saw was pretty good."
You - "Yeah, pretty good at sucking! Face!"
Awesome, no? Who exactly got faced in the above dialog? Your friend? The movie? I don't know...but you win either way! Can Friend A come back with a cogent argument as to the aforementioned movie's quality after such an enthusiastic face? I submit that Friend A most certainly cannot! Start using face today, and thank me later.
And, for those of you thinking, "Paul, I thought this blog was about Addie?" My response to such a spurious accusation is this: I mentioned Addie at the beginning, or can you not draw inferences? Face!
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