Thursday, April 23, 2009

Squirrel bits

Rather than try to explain away my multi-month absence from blogging, I thought I would just go about things like I've never been gone. It's kind of like the time between seasons of a television series. What was many months for you was only days for your favorite characters. It's the same--but different. So, last season on Blogsted...Paul had a six-month-old daughter. Now she's 13 months old. There, you're caught up.

So, today while I'm at work, I got a lovely picture message from Anna. She hasn't ever sent me a picture message before, so I was quite intrigued. Well, the picture that graced my Blackberry screen was that of a recently deceased squirrel laying on our front porch. Unfortunately (for the squirrel) it was only a head, tail, and feet. No legs--just feet. It appears that Fuzz, our most savvy, hunting-prone cat, perpetrated this crime against tree-dwelling rodents. Don't get me wrong--there is no love lost between myself and squirrels, but you have to feel bad for any animal that gets partially devoured by a house cat.

So, I'm looking at the picture in disgust, and then I try to reply to Anna. Well, the Blackberry that I mentioned above is new to me, as my previous phone recently died. Normally, with my Blackberry, I would press the track ball, roll to "Reply" and click the track ball again. However--and if you have a Blackberry, you will recognize this--I accidentally scrolled to "Forward" and pressed the button. The "Forward" button took me to my address book, and as I was flustered by my misunderstanding Blackberry functionality, I somehow forwared the picture of our newly dead rodent friend to Alabama Power (the first entry in my phonebook). I haven't heard yet what they thought of the picture...but Alabama Power has raised their rates recently, so I would imagine they've received worse.

Well, that's not quite the end of the story. I get home, and Anna informs me that she has left the dead squirrel for me to clean up. No big deal--I decided that I would take care of it after a few minutes. That was before I accidentally stepped in the recently thrown-up, partially digested squirrel parts that Fuzz had deposited on our foyer rug (at least I was wearing shoes). I wish Fuzz was smart enough to know that squirrel is rough on the digestive system. I also wish that the throw-up bug didn't spread to Addie, who just threw up in her bed tonight. At least Addie didn't throw up any squirrels.

2 comments:

rachel blazer said...

okay... so i'm definitely gagging right now. and i'm DYING that you sent the picture to your power company! i'll file that away for future reference- like when our city sewer company & our metropolitan sewer company both swear that the other is responsible for the backwash of poop in our basement. they deserve threatening pictures of dead animals.

Allison Lewis said...

i'm laughing so hard i'm crying.