Note that the baby in the ad talks, makes pithy comments about how you are no better than an infant if you don't use E*Trade, and uses a PC (and a Webcam!) with relative ease. Addie can do none of these things! I know because I checked. To be scientific about it, I sat her down in front of the computer with me, and I allowed her to try to type/trade stocks on the Internet. You know what--she can barely type! To illustrate, here's an example of what she typed for me: afguiwe10u9n. That took her two hours! I hoped that if I opened www.afguiwe10u9n.com, it would backdoor me to E*Trade. It turns out that the Internet is unfamiliar with said URL.
How can Addie trade stocks if she can't type? (And don't get me started on using the mouse.) Why would E*Trade want to imply that my child should be a financial baron by now? Am I to worry that Addie doesn't speak with attitude to spare, mocking those who don't like to trade online? Why E*Trade, why?
On a happier note, Addie can spit up equally as well as the E*Trade baby; so at least I know we're on the right track. Maybe, if given time, Addie will be a regular John D. Rockefeller, trading stocks with the best minds on Wall Street. I expect this will happen in the next couple of weeks--if not, my faith in advertising will be irrevocably shaken. Next thing I'll hear is that Sonny is not actually "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs," and this I cannot abide.
How can Addie trade stocks if she can't type? (And don't get me started on using the mouse.) Why would E*Trade want to imply that my child should be a financial baron by now? Am I to worry that Addie doesn't speak with attitude to spare, mocking those who don't like to trade online? Why E*Trade, why?
On a happier note, Addie can spit up equally as well as the E*Trade baby; so at least I know we're on the right track. Maybe, if given time, Addie will be a regular John D. Rockefeller, trading stocks with the best minds on Wall Street. I expect this will happen in the next couple of weeks--if not, my faith in advertising will be irrevocably shaken. Next thing I'll hear is that Sonny is not actually "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs," and this I cannot abide.
3 comments:
Er, it's a bit late, but congrats my good man. Welcome to the wonderful world of fatherhood. You'll worry more about absolutely everything, but it's all totally worth it.
A beautiful daughter indeed.
(And, yes, the non-stop interruptions from hospital staff in those first two days was awful ... I kept thinking that if I could only sleep three straight hours, I'd be fine ... there is an end in sight though, so don't worry).
Glad to see your sense of humor is still in tack despite the lack of sleep. You make me laugh out loud. Keep enjoying fatherhood.
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