One of my most (and quite unexpected) favorite things

If you would have asked me, before Addie was born, to speculate on what I would enjoy most about being a father, I certainly would not have guessed it would be waking up in the middle of the night. But now, as I've grown into my new role as father, it is absolutely one of favorite things about having a daugher. Now let me qualify here, so that I don't get myself a permanent job of waking up in the middle of the night. I don't desire to wake up--in fact, I would prefer to stay in the bed, and I appreciate the fact that Anna and I trade off on waking-up duty. However, it is when Addie does wake up, and it is when I go to her room, that I have some of the best experiences with her.

As Addie has grown, her waking up in the middle of the night is not an indication of hunger. Rather, as I have read, she has reached the end of a sleep cycle, so a great deal of effort is not required to get her back to sleep. When Addie cries in the middle of the night, pretty much all we have to do is put her pacifier back in her mouth, which leads her--almost directly--back to sleep.

When I wake up with Addie crying, and I make my way into her room, she will invariably have woken herself up and rolled on her stomach (I think she's a little disoriented after being asleep--although I don't have any proof of that). I'll step up to her crib, and with my left hand cradling her head and my right hand gently holding her stomach, I'll roll her over onto her back. It's that moment, right after she's rolled over as I grab her pacifier and her lovey (blanket, for the uninitiated), that I see in her eyes that she recognizes my face, and she immediately calms down, and her crying stops. Every time that she has the look of recognition in her eyes, it melts my heart, because it is immediately followed by a look of complete contentment. Then I see that Addie knows that she is safe because her daddy is there.

I don't claim to know if Addie is really awake enough during these late-night moments to truly recognize that her daddy is there, but I hope she does. Even so, if she thinks it's only a dream, I'm glad that she falls back asleep dreaming of me.